Remember the good old days when you had to take a photo of your dinner, wait to get it developed, then take it round all your friends' houses to show them what you'd eaten?

Neither do we.

Those who loudly and fervently declare the superiority of Apple products over any other. The kind of people who get excited about iOS updates and think Steve Jobs invented puppies.

Whether they’re running late, going out, have just seen a celebrity or are attending a funeral, no place is safe from the Selfie-Centered and their duck-faced shenanigans

#aftersexselfie #theSelfies #duckface #atareallysadfuneral

The only thing worse than Apple Apostles. Please, tell us more about how Android is "more open" and you were the first person among your friends to stop using Apple products.

His Twitter account has 400 followers, he’s got 900 friends on Facebook and 3,000 +1s on Google+, and his Reddit karma is the stuff of legend. But you know he still lives with his mum and sleeps with a teddy bear called Pooky.

Auntie’s in hospital dear, LOL xxx

Mum, LOL means Laugh out Loud.

I thought it meant Lots of Love.

No. LOL xxx

Walking and texting are two things that shouldn't really be done together, as you usually need your eyes to see all that boring stuff like manholes, people with prams and approaching cars.

Help [A Friend You Haven’t Spoken to Since College] Smash 40 Chococows In Candyville Farmcrush Pay2Win Shovelware Edition!!1!!1
Or, like, don’t.

Why send one big, coherent message when you can send 40 little ones that read like Ulysses without the vowels?

Those people who will happily sit in a group, ignoring everyone else while they update Facebook or watch YouTube. Look out for whole crowds of people silently doing this together, like something out of The Faculty.

Spotted someone you know?

Go back and tag!

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